Settling In

For the, like, five of you who might actually read this blog, sorry to be so quiet of late. The holidays, illness, and spending time with my boyfriend has taken up all my blogging time. :)

We took the Christmas tree down today, it being the twelfth day of Christmas (also known as Theophany). Needless to say, it wasn't looking quite as green as the picture below. I think we'll be picking pine needles out of my boyfriend's sweater and sweeping them off the floor for weeks.


Christmas Eve

I ushered in the New Year sitting with my boyfriend on a somewhat damp park bench waiting for fireworks to go off over the Willamette River while I shivered from a fever. As we waited for midnight, the drunken adolescents on the nearby bench pondered the meaning of the change in the calendar. "I don't know what the big deal is," said one girl. "I mean, it's not like anything changes. Everything's the same as it was before." When midnight struck, we could hear fireworks going off, but 6 blocks behind us at Pioneer Courthouse Square, covered by high rise office and shopping buildings. With no fireworks to see, and with me feeling nauseous, we headed home, where I finally threw up a few hours later. And I hadn't even had anything to drink. :(

Yes, the change from 2004 to 2005 hasn't changed anything when it comes to my immune system. But I think perhaps it has brought me a little peace about it. Like I'm finally coming to terms with it. Learning to accept that this is my life now. Not what I thought it would be, but not necessarily bad. Just different. And who knows what kind of life it might turn out to be? Maybe I just might find out if I can finally settle down into now instead of grasping for the future I think I want, but can't quite touch.